Bed rest is not an easy task; I don’t care what anybody says…it isn’t!
It’s Monday morning, you just had a wonderful weekend and getting to work on time is currently the top priority. But yet in still you roll over, smack the hell out of your alarm and think if only I could stay in bed all day! Personally, I don’t think I’ll have that thought for a while after this ordeal is over.
I’ve been here in the bed at the hospital (no less) for 1 week and 6 days (tomorrow will be two weeks), trying my best to stay pregnant. I was only 20 weeks pregnant when emitted and the doctors deem to think I’ve beat the odds compared to the condition of my cervix, contractions and dilation. I was scared out of mind that I would lose my baby.
All I know is I was so excited when I woke up on April 27th for my 9:30am appt., it was the day I would find out what I was having. So at one moment I was being told it was a girl and at the next that my cervix was nearly gone. Huh, what?! When did my cervix disappear and why wasn't it detected when I carried my son. Duh, I know but I was so confused and wasn’t thinking about labor and contractions or that maybe I would be giving birth to a fetus that would not be viable to survive.
I was emitted to the hospital and told after about 3 hours of being on the monitor that I had been having contractions (mind you I don’t feel the pains) and I’m staying indefinitely. I’m now not only confused but horrified. I’m still not understanding to this point how really serious my condition is until the next day when a doctor who is on staff with my doctor tells me to not hope for the best. She pissed me off but made me pray even harder. She even had the nerve to tell me a week later (May 6th, last Thursday) that she was surprised that I was still here in the hospital. Guess what she is going to be surprised that I’ll be here this week and the weeks to come because I’m not letting go! I’m a fighter and if how my daughter is moving around is any indication of her personality, she is a fighter as well.
I’ve had good and bad days, mostly good! Though I finally got my beads Thursday, I haven’t been able to bring myself to make anything. I shuffled through and organized beads but not able to put anything together. Hopefully, in a day or two I’ll be making something!